Growing up I always thought I couldn't draw or paint or anything else creative. My mom was a novice painter, but I think she was really great. I have many of her drawings and paintings on my walls.

When my mom died 5 years ago it almost killed me too. I have suffered with depression and PTSD from a young age, but I'm not ready to go into that yet. So losing my mom, even though I was in my early 50s, hit me very hard. I sank into depression and didn't want to do anything, go anywhere. I just sat in my room and cried for weeks. I live with my daughter and son-in-law, and the three youngest of my grandkids. Even though my daughter tried to help me get through it, she just didn't understand, being that she has not lost a parent. This went on for a couple of years.

My oldest granddaughter started painting, with Girl Guides, and somehow  my daughter found Cinnamon, she told me about it late last year, and I started watching her videos.

Well I had painted ceramics in my 20s and 30s, so I thought I'd give it a try. Now remember I always told my grandkids, as a joke sort of  that I couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler. So I figured I'd use up my craft paints, I can't afford anything better, so figured I have to start somewhere. Anyway, my first couple of paintings were terrible, I almost gave up. But my daughter encouraged me keep keep with it a while longer.

I then found one of the birch tree paintings and tried that. Well much to my surprised, it turned out rather good. So I searched burch trees, found the rest of Cinnamon's birch paintings. They all turned out pretty good. So I thought I'd leave my comfort zone and tried a few others. Some turned out really crappy, so I painted over those ones. But more then I thought turned out pretty good.

I did the lilacs in a jar, with Q-tips. Wow it really looked good. I gave it to my sister-in-law,  she loved it, its hanging in her craft room. I gave one of the birch tree one, with the cardinals to a neighbor,  he liked it and is framing it for his livingroom.

I still can't do people, but I very much enjoy doing the silhouettes, the dinosaur one turn out good. My 7 year old grandson really liked it. I did a character from the game amoung us for him, he insisted on hanging it in the livingroom, so he could look at it everyday. He's autistic and has very strict standards, I was doing one, I don't remember which, and he saw it before I was halfway done. He told me that it didn't look like the picture and walked out of the room. I called him back to see it when I was done. He looked at it and told me that it was better, but still didn't look like the picture. He is my biggest critic, but also my biggest supporter. When he likes one, I know I did it well.

My daughter says that I'm obsessed with painting now, she knows its good for my mental health, but I have other hobbies too. But this one makes me feel close to my mom, and I'm not ready to move away from it yet. I really wish I could afford better supplies, but a little at a time, I'll get there. 

I'm still using craft paints, but have started upgrading,  only to liquitex basics, but I just can't afford better paint right now. I am still painting everyday, but now I'm not sure what to do with all the paintings I've finished. What I've posted in my gallery here is only the best ones I've done.